(taken
from Russia)
Ustyuzhina
Klavdiya Nikitishna.
I
was an atheist and cursed God a lot and terribly. I lived in shame and
fornication and was dead to the earth. But the merciful God did not let me
perish but led me to repentance.
In
1961 I fell ill with cancer and was ill for three years. I did not lie down but worked and treated doctors, hoping to find a cure. In the last six months, I
had become completely emaciated, so much so that I could not even drink water.
As soon as I drank it, I immediately threw up. Then they took me to the
hospital and because I was very energetic they called a professor from Moscow
and decided to operate on me.
As
soon as they opened my abdomen, I died immediately. My soul came out of the
body and was standing between two doctors and I was looking at my illness with
great fear and terror. My entire stomach and intestines were cancerous. I was
standing there thinking why are there two of us? I had no idea there was a
soul. The communists were inflating us and teaching us that the soul and God do
not exist, that this is only an invention of the priests to deceive the people
and keep them in fear of something that does not exist.
I
see myself standing and I see him again in the operating room. They took out
all my innards and were looking for the duodenum. But there was only pus,
everything was damaged and spoiled, and nothing was healthy. The doctors then said:
"she has nothing to live with". I saw everything with great fear and
terror and again thought: “How and where are we two? Am I standing and lying
down at the same time? "The doctors then returned my entrails as-as they
said my body should be given to the young medical specialists for teaching and
they took it to the mortuary and I went to them and was more and more puzzled
and thought how and where we are two. There they left me lying naked, covered
up to chest height with a sheet. After that, I see that my brother came and
brought my little son. He was six years old and his name was Andruska (Andrei).
My son approached my body and kissed his head. He began to cry and say: "Mother,
mother, why did you die? I am still young, how can I live without you? I have
no father and you are dead! I then hugged him and kissed him, but he did not
feel it either. he did not see it nor notice me but was looking at my dead
body.
I
also saw how my brother chose. After that, I suddenly found myself at home. My
mother-in-law from my first marriage came, my mother and my sister. I left my
first husband because he believed in God. Then the distribution of my things
began. I lived richly and luxuriously, and all this I obtained by injustice and
by fornication. My sister began to remove the nicest of my things, while the
mother-in-law asked to leave something for my son. My sister did not leave
anything, but in addition, she began to scold the mother-in-law saying:
"this child is not your son's and you are nothing to him." After that, they went out and closed the house. My sister also took a big bag of things
with her. While they were arguing about my things I saw devils dancing and
rejoicing around us.
Suddenly
I found myself in the air and I see as if I am flying in a plane. I feel that
someone is holding me and that I am rising higher and higher. I found myself
above the city of Barnaul. Then I see that the city is gone. It got dark. After
that light began to come again and at last it became completely illuminated and
the light was so strong that I could not look at it. They placed me on a six-foot black slab. I saw trees with very thick trunks and beautiful variegated
foliage. Among the trees, there were houses, all new, but I did not see who
lived in them. In this valley, I saw rich green grass and I thought: where am I
now? If I am on earth then why are there no businesses, factories or other
buildings here, why are there no roads or transport? What is this place without
people and who lives here anyway? A little further on I saw walking a fine tall
woman in regal gowns beneath which her toes were visible. He walked so lightly
that not even the grass was bent by his feet. Next to her was a young man who
was as tall as her shoulders. He had his face hidden with his hands, and for
something, he was crying very bitterly and begging, but for what reason, I could
not hear. I thought that he is her son and protested to myself why she does not
feel sorry for him and fulfilled his request. He cried and mourned and she did
not fulfill his request. (Note: From everything, it appears that this young man
was a guardian angel of this dead woman. It also appears how much the holy
angels care about us and our souls, but we do not see it. Further, it appears
that their request is also unfulfilled if death finds us sinners and
impenitent). When they came near me, the young man fell at her feet and began
to beg her more loudly and to wail and ask her for something. She answered him
something, but I couldn't make out what. (Note: I had the opportunity from
other sources to know how and how bitterly the guardian angel weeps when the
one given to him for protection does not obey the holy Church and the holy
faith, losing his soul forever). When they approached me I wanted to ask her:
"where am I?" At that moment this woman crossed her arms on her
chest, raised her eyes to heaven, and said: "Lord, where will she go like
this?" I then trembled and only now understood that I had died, that my
soul was in heaven and the body remained on earth. Then I began to weep and
wail, and I heard a voice saying: "return her to the earth for the good
deeds of her father." Another voice replied: "I'm tired of her sinful
and corrupt life. I wanted to wipe her off the face of the earth without
repentance, but her father begged me for her. Show her the place she
deserved."
Immediately
I found myself in Hades. Then terrible glowing snakes with long tongues spewing
fire and other disgusting filth began to creep up to me. The stench was
unbearable. These snakes coiled themselves around me, and at the same time from
somewhere appeared worms as thick as a finger with tails ending in needles
and hooks. These were getting into all my open parts, ears, eyes, nose, etc.
and so they tortured me and I screamed no with my voice. But there was no help
from anywhere, no mercy from anyone. There I saw how the woman who died from an
abortion presented herself and began to beg the Lord for mercy. HE answered
her: "you on earth did not recognize me, you killed the children in your
womb, and moreover you told people: you should not give birth to children,
children are unnecessary". To me there are none, there are no unnecessary
things. In me, there is everything and enough for everyone.
To
me, the Lord said: "I gave you the disease so that you would repent, but
you cursed Me until the end of your life and did not recognize Me and for this
reason, I do not recognize you either!" As you lived on earth without the
Lord God, so you will live here too!
Suddenly
everything changed and I flew somewhere. The stench disappeared, the loud
howling also disappeared and I suddenly saw my church where I was playing. The
gate opened and a priest dressed in white came out. He was standing with his
head bowed and a voice asked me: "who is he?". I answered: "our
priest." "You said he is a swindler, he is not a swindler, but a real
shepherd, he is not a mercenary.
He
knew that even though he is a small, ordinary priest, he serves Me, know even
this: if he does not read you the wish of confession, I will not forgive
you"! Then I began to plead: "Lord, bring me back to earth, I have a
little son." The Lord said: "I know you have a little son, it is a
pity for him". "Too bad," I replied. Then He answered: "I
pity you all and three times I pity you. I expect you all, when will you wake
up from the sinful dream, repent and come to your senses?''
Here
now the Mother of God appeared again, whom earlier I called her a woman and I
took the courage to ask her: "Is there a paradise here for you?".
Instead of an answer after those words, I found myself back in Hell in Hades.
Now it was worse than last time. Demons ran around me with lists and pointed
out my sins and shouted: "you served us when you were on earth"! I
began to read my sins, all my deeds written in large letters, and I felt
terrible fear. Fire came out of their mouths. The demons were beating on my
head. Glowing sparks of fire were falling on me and sticking and burning me.
Around me, there was a great wailing and crying of many people.
When
the fire got stronger I could see everything around me. The souls had a
terrible appearance, they were crippled with stretched necks and swollen eyes.
They told me that you are a comrade (it seems that they were communists) and
you are obliged to live with us. Like you, we too when we were on earth did not
recognize God, we cursed him and did every evil, fornication, pride, and others
and we never repented. Those who sinned but repented went to church, prayed to
God, showed mercy to the poor, and helped those in need and misfortune, they are
up there. (Note: that is, in heaven, which they here did not even want to
mention).
I
was terribly frightened by these words, it seemed to me that I was already here
in Hades my whole life and they tell me that I will live with them forever.
After
that, the Mother of God appeared again and there was light, the demons fled and
the souls tormented in hell began to cry out and beg her for mercy:
"Heavenly Queen, do not leave us here" they cried. "We are
burning Mother of God and there is not even a drop of water"! She was
crying and through the crying, she was saying: "While you lived on earth
you did not recognize me and did not repent of your sins to My Son and your God
and I cannot help you now, I only help those for whom the relatives beg and for
whom the holy church prays for". After that we started to rise and from
below there was a loud cry of voices: "Mother of God doesn't leave us".
Again
there was darkness and I found myself in the same place. Crossing her hands on
her chest, the Mother of God raised her eyes to heaven and began to pray to say: "what shall I do with her, where shall I put her? A voice
answered: "leave her by the hair on the earth." "But is she
cut?" The voice said again, "Grab her by the hair." Then the
Mother of God quietly left, her door half open so that behind her I could see
nothing. Then she came back holding my hair in her hands and out of nowhere 12
wheelless carriages appeared, they were moving slowly and I was following them.
The Mother of God gave me the hair, but I did not realize that she touched me.
I only listened when he said the twelfth carriage has no bottom. I was afraid
to sit on it, but the Mother of God pushed me to the ground from it.
After
that, I came to my senses and consciously stood and watched. It was half past
one in the afternoon. After that light, I saw there everything on earth looked
bad to me and I didn't like being on earth but what to do. Now I said to my
soul alone: "go to the body"! Then I was back at the hospital and we
went to the refrigerator where the bodies were kept. This was closed, but I
entered without hindrance and saw my dead body: My head was turned a little to
one side, while my waist was pressed by dead men. As soon as my soul entered
the body, I immediately felt a strong chill. Somehow I freed my tight waist,
bent over, and clasped my knees with my hands. At that moment they put in the
dead body of some man and when they turned on the light they saw me bent over,
whereas they usually put all the dead face up. Seeing me like this the nurses
were afraid and from fear they scattered. They returned with two doctors, who
immediately ordered my brain to be heated with lamps. There were eight
incisions on my body (they learned about it): three on the chest and the rest
on the abdomen. Two hours after warming my head I opened my eyes and only
after 12 days I spoke.
In
the morning they brought me pancakes with butter and coffee for breakfast (it
was a fasting day), but I didn't want to eat and told them I wouldn't eat. The
nurses left again and everyone in the hospital started paying attention to me.
The doctors came and asked me why I don't want to eat. I answered them:
"Sit down and I will tell you what my soul has seen. Whoever does not fast
on the days of fasting, will eat foul and disgusting things. That's why
today I won't eat, just like in all the fasts I won't gain weight". The
doctors the surprise, one turned red and the other turned yellow and the
patients listened to me carefully. Then many doctors gathered and I told them
that nothing hurts me anymore. Then people began to come to me, a lot of them,
and I told everyone and showed them the wounds. The police started to chase
people away and I was taken to another hospital. There I recovered completely
and begged the doctors to heal me as soon as possible of the incisions they
made on me while learning about me. Then they put me back on the operating
table and when the doctors opened my abdomen they said: "Why did they
operate on a perfectly healthy person?". I then asked them: "What is
my disease?" They answered me: "Your entrails are healthy and clean
like a child's." I told them that I was blindfolded during the operation,
but that I could still see my insides in the ceiling mirror. The doctors who
performed the operation also came and when they approached they said: “Where is
her illness? her entrails were all disintegrated and affected by cancer,
and now she is perfectly healthy." I answered them: the LORD GOD has shown
his mercy to me a sinner, that I may even live and testify to others what I saw
and what happened to me. HE, the LORD GOD took what was broken in me and gave
me healthy, I will tell everyone about it until I die. Then I said to the
doctor, "See how you laughed?" and he replied that "nothing was
sound in you." "What do you think now?" I asked him. He
answered: "the Highest has regenerated you!" Then I answered him:
"If you believe in him, make your cross and get married in the church."
The doctor blushed because he was a Jew. I also added: be pleasing to the Lord
GOD.
I
then left the hospital, called the priest I was playing with earlier, and
attacked him, calling him a scumbag. I told him everything that happened to me, and I confessed and received the holy mysteries of Christ. I called him and he
blessed my house, because until now sin, pettiness, drunkenness, taunting, and
fighting reigned in it.
Now
I, the sinful CLAUDIA, who am 40 years old, with the help of God and the
Heavenly Queen, live a Christian life. I regularly go to the church, the temple
of God and the Lord helps me. People visit me from all parts of the world and I
tell everyone what happened to me, what I saw and what I heard. With God's help, I accept them all, I tell everyone what I was before, what happened to me now
and why I am now a believer.
May
the Lord God be glorified! I advise all of them to be careful how they live,
because indeed there is another world and another life and that each one will
give an account for his earthly works and that according to them he will have a
fully just reward or punishment and even eternal. May you all live Christianly
and according to GOD. AMEN.
Ustyuzhina
Klavdiya Nikitishna.
